Two Roads Diverged in a Wood…

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.” 

-Robert Frost 

It has been nearly two years since I woke up one morning and the voice that speaks to me was once again beckoning me to quit my job. If you haven’t heard the story before- it was a morning just like all the others. I was getting ready for work when that voice inside of me said to go into the backyard, sit your body on the Earth, and meditate. I had learned to listen by that point, so I did as I was told. The message I received in the meditation was “you need to quit your job today.” It came at no surprise. I had been working what was supposed to be a placeholder job to hold me over after a swift exit from my previous job. Except it had been almost a year and I was still making lattes and serving breakfast.

I had known for a while that my human self was overstaying my welcome as a barista according to my soul. My soul had been poking at me for months, serving as a constant reminder that this job was a temporary solution. I don’t have one of those souls who can be silenced or quieted down. My soul and its desires cannot be ignored. My soul is on a mission and has little patience for my humanness getting in the way of that. 

When I got dressed that day I first reached for the comfortable, loose, grey athletic shorts and was quickly corrected and redirected towards the tight, uncomfortable black biker shorts. The voice said something like, “each time you feel the discomfort of these shorts, you will be reminded of your soul’s discomfort, and encouraged to follow through.” I followed suit and put on my “key too lyfe” socks to also serve as a reminder of what I was to do that day. 

When I graduated high school, my mom attempted to put together a photo slideshow with music to play at my graduation party. Somehow the songs from that playlist got downloaded to my itunes account and every now and then when I get into the car and my phone automatically connects to bluetooth, that playlist will start playing. The song that always plays is “Fireworks” by Katy Perry. It had always felt obnoxious and annoying, especially because most times my volume had been left pretty high so the tune would be blaring as soon as I turned the car on. “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag… drifting through the wind… wanting to start again?”

I guess I did feel a little like a plastic bag that day because I left the song on and began to sing along on my way to work. “Do you ever feel already buried deep… six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing?” 

As cringey as this sounds, I started getting chills as the song continued. I turned up the volume and started singing louder. “Do you know that there's still a chance for you… cause there's a spark in you… you just gotta ignite… the light… and let it shine… just own the night like the fourth of july!” 

I had never been consciously aware of the message my mom was sending me through this song, at random moments throughout my mundane life when it would start playing in my car. On that day, it was like she was cheering me on to quit my job and open up a new door for myself. I felt supported and guided by my ancestors on my short ten minute drive to the coffee shop. 

So I worked the shift and although I almost convinced myself out of it, I followed through and nervously put in my two weeks. When I got home and told Shane that I had quit my job and things were changing, he soon after jumped on board and we got to work brainstorming all of the possibilities of what could be next for us. This is one of the many reasons why I love Shane, he is such a kind, compassionate, and tuned-in man. 

Within the month, we decided we were going to move out of the house we were renting. We didn’t have much of a plan, only the magnetizing pull the Appalachian Mountains had on our hearts and the unwavering support of a force much bigger than us. We stayed at his parents house for a couple of weeks, where we were able to store all of the things we didn't sell or get rid of. Then we booked an airbnb in Pickens, South Carolina for one month, bought a travel trailer at the end of our time there, and have been patiently (and sometimes begrudgingly) allowing the mystery to unfold one step at a time ever since. 

Two years ago, two roads diverged and we took the one less travelled, and it has made all the difference. The ways in which we have grown, changed, and shifted are probably too long and subconscious to list. I am the healthiest I have ever been in my adult life and I have so much more clarity and precision around what it is that I want in this life. This has not only been a soul-led journey but also a soul-aligning journey. My life before was a product of my disembodied, people pleaser persona and programming. And after tearing it all down and starting over from scratch, I’ve been able to create, brick by brick, a truly authentic life. 

It certainly isn’t perfect. And it is a work-in-progress, this is a lifelong journey. I have a lot of days where I spend most of my time wondering what the fuck I’m doing. One thing I’ve learned is that there is no going back. When we first set off on this adventure, a phrase that comforted me was “you can always go home.” And then I started hearing people say the phrase, “you can never go home again.” When I first heard that I felt so distraught but as time went on I started to get it. Depending on who you are and what your life circumstances are, maybe you can go home and maybe that “home” is still a wonderful place for you to return to. But the saying implies that things are always changing, things are always moving forward, we cannot go back in time to how things were, to how we once were. And I find that to be absolutely true. 

And while the feeling of not having a home to go back to is one that has been quite unsettling for me ever since my mother died, it has also been my guiding light towards remembering that I am my home. And while I am in this Earthly body, this body of mine is my home. 

This is a story I’ve sat down to write many times before. I’ve certainly told it many times and heck maybe I have written and published some version of it already. But sitting here right now at this moment, typing this out, walking down memory lane- I see that this is really just an exercise in strengthening my intention and intuition. Blind faith requires an incredible amount of discomfort and devotion. Knowing our why for all our little and big desires in life is what keeps us rooted and aligned with our soul-led mission. 

I had no clue two years ago when we set off on this journey that two years later I would be where I am now, still trying to figure it out, still trying to land. And I don’t know if I would’ve taken the leap had I known that. If I had known all the inner sludge and mud I was going to have to trudge through and be with and look at and learn to love, I might have chosen instead to use my power and energy to silence that guiding voice inside of me. 

I’m proud that I didn’t choose that and I know now that I’ll never be able to choose that. There is no way in hell this power that has risen up in me, that had been lying dormant for so many years, is going back to sleep. 

So here I am, feeling healthy and vibrant, IN my power, and soul-aligned. I am ready to be of service, to be a guiding light for those who have dimmed theirs and need a little support cranking up the heat in their lives. Humanity desperately needs more soul-aligned, inspired, radiant humans on this planet at this time. If you feel any inkling of a call or desire towards a brighter life, I encourage you to take the leap. Reach out to me and let’s do the work and play of self-discovery together. 

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.” 

-Robert Frost 

Endless gratitude & blessings to you & yours,

Love Always,

Syd <3